The love we have is so strong. I would be hard pressed to describe it to anyone. Love is something describable and it's something that many people understand. They have felt the same feelings. However, this type of feeling goes beyond. I think this kind of love is like Helen of Troy and Paris. Caeser and Cleopatra. Four amazing people caught up in love. Their love though, reminds me of the kind of fight we have to endure. We care and love for each other so strongly, it would break nations apart if we were royalty. Individuals would go to war for us because of how we believe in each other.

In all fairness, I would rather wake up on my death bed knowing that I was able to have one man that cherished, loved, and devoted himself to me because of how much he loved me, as I would do for him. Even though these feelings can be very tough to contend with, nothing good comes without sacrifice sometimes. All those messages I wrote are there to show you that my feelings will never be vanquished. They will never vanish. They will grow. Hugging and kissing you is like floating on a cloud. Just feels right. Like we are connected in so many ways.

I'll be happy to call you my husband one day. Let's get to work. : ) Build ourselves a future that we will never forget.

I hope you are safe. Fuck all the rest, I just hope you are all right and well. Even if you hated me, despised me, I just care about your well-being. You are a true love. My true love. I'm definitely a nut ball. I admit it. I just need to have my good times with you. I want you to fill my memories. My dying breath and flash of memory in a millisecond is gonna contain your face. It's gonna show me the angel that I was blessed with meeting.

This is a plea to you. I beg you. Hands and knees.

Please don't leave my life.

I usually only write in my blog when I am sad. When I have to talk to someone else, this is the best place to go. I am losing it thinking i'm going to lose you forever. I know what we have been through. Now that I know you, there is no comparison RB. I know I can succeed. I have failed failed failed. Even the best fall sometimes too. I would rather work hard, save, get a place and really feel proud of myself for having accomplished my goal. However, it won't be complete. Not without you. I will live a life alone, devoted to a man with whom I love desperately and completely. As odd as this will be of a comparison, there is a show called Naruto and it's about this kid who's childhood was one of hardship and being shunned. As he grows up, he learns to never give up in what he believes in. He works so hard to see someone who may never even want to see him or come back again. However, it doesn't deter him. He keeps fighting along because he believes with love and strength, WE have the capability of learning from our own mistakes and becoming tangible together. I'm so sorry. Maybe it would be easier to move on but I can't. I won't. Call me a fool, loser, idiot, anything. I very well may be. But at least I am a fool for you. And for your love.

My mom just came home and was talking about how some guy was hitting on her, asking her if she has threesomes!!! Did you walk around naked in Punta Cana?!! It's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Who asks those sort of things!! I bring this up to say that god some if not most men are dogs!! If you do end up with someone who isn't me, please make sure he is a good man. Someone who treats you right and raises you up, not for anything else other than love. I still believe myself capable of being that man. I just need to be stronger. Speak and communicate. I felt so good chatting with you about it. I really feel we understood what a good life we can have. God we have tried and hard sometimes. I am so determined. I know all these words have been spoken but I just can't give up on you. I totally believe you are not a statistic. You are above it. You are strong and capable! I look at you and I am rendered speechless by your beauty.

I become emotional after I don't hear from you for a while. It makes me feel like I am never going to hear or see you again and that has to be IMPOSSIBLE!! I love you too much! I will work and work hard and achieve my goals. I need you to be part of it. I want you to be part of it. No matter what, you know I love you with all my heart.

Don't forsake me RB. You may not read this anymore but if there is a chance you can see this, it's worth a shot.

Not hearing from you feels like I've been cursed. I know you are out there thinking of me too, I just can't help myself. You know how I feel when it comes to you. I know we came to a really good understanding of how a good future can be obtained. I can see us having more amazing nights just like that one. It made me feel out of this world. I'm glad you are the one I can do that with and comfortably. That is true love. You are a dream. My dream. I may seem pathetic and desperate, but who cares. I am all of those things for you.

I know you will see me again, my ♥♥♥♥. No matter who says what, we have our differences. There are things we need to work on as adults. Like you said, not if..when. I'm here for you until I reach the end of my time on this earth.

"You are now listening to WCRB, 98.5" I always thought that channel was meant just for us.

I Love You.

Nobody loves you like I do.

Even when I reach the end of my rope one day, you will be there.

Forgetting about someone you love is like remembering someone you've never met. It's impossible.

It would be a lie if I said you didn't penetrate my thoughts all day. Every day.

One day, your arms will be wrapped around me again. Our lips will caress each other in ways only we would know.


One day, you will see the four of hearts again.

<3 RB

I write this to you, my first love. You changed my life. As tears stream down my face, I am accepting of the fate I have chosen. You will always be my first.. You have endowed me with many special qualities that I only achieved because of you. You have inspired me to realize that I am a good person and to not be insecure. To see that I am capable of having a relationship with someone who not only is beautiful, but beautiful on the inside too.

Life did not deal you a fair hand. If it did, maybe our fate would be woven differently. I would say I understand, but in truth..I will never truly understand your pain. I wish I could change all of it. Go back in time and meet you before all these bad things. Say to you, "I am from the future and I am here to save you." Surely, you wouldn't believe it then but I believe love will always be, whether it be 20 years ago or 2 weeks ago. I can picture in my head our first meeting and how wonderful it was. If only everyday could be as amazing as that one. It made me feel like nothing else mattered...only you..in doing so I neglected so many others that were close to me. So many angry conversations that need not be had.

Above all else, I remember the look in your eyes and I will never forget. I never meant to hurt you and I know you never meant to hurt me either.

I will miss you with all of my heart, R. I want you to remember one thing and always keep this with you as long as you live...do not let my last time seeing you be in a casket.

4♥ ImL

I Love You So Much

There are only so many words used to describe someone and I believe I've used everyone at my disposal. You are them all my honey!

There is someone out there in the world who is my complete parallel. He knows who he is. Because of this parallel, him and I have fallen deeply in love. The kind of love only Shakespeare could write and then some.

I Love You With All My Heart ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love you my darling. I miss your sweet face. I know you are coming babe. You are so strong. We both are. Because of love. I am so glad that we found it. I want to make breakfast and walk. And watch a good movie. Eat lots of nasty carbs after six ; ) jk we don't have to do that one.

You are my amazing man roger pie. You being wonderful makes me feel wonderful. It's such a feeling. Be careful and safe in the snow! It's a little treacherous out there. I Love You!

To me, you are the only man that matters. I Love You so very much my honey. 

Please stay safe my love. The snow is beautiful isn't it? Especially when the light shines on it in the dark. 

Roger, my darling, I miss you terribly. I need you in my life. By your side is where I am meant to be. It makes me feel whole. It's a feeling that only you and I can describe. We are going to be each other's love, forever. How extraordinary. 

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I Love You more than there are words. I appreciate your words and use them everyday to bring me happiness. I think of your smiling face when I am lonely. You help me through my day. I know you are being strong and I commend you for that. It's not an easy thing to do. You have been given a wonderful opportunity and it will allow us to be closer sooner. I am so very excited! We are going to have a great life.

I recently read that a man who I used to idolize myself (small idol but still..) needs help too. Someone who has been around for a long time succeeding in life just showed me that he too needs a little hand. He is married happily with children and has been for years. It gave me even more hope than I already had. It just shows me that no matter who you are, we can all make it. The naysayers only see what they choose to see. Very narrow-minded. The only way to prove to this individuals is to show them how strong we really are. How strong you are. From the very first meeting, I knew I'd want to put my effort into you. After we got past all the initial hesitations, we finally started to figure out what to do. Sometimes, it takes individuals a little longer to figure it out. You can see all the improvements you have been making and how life seems now vs. before. I think it's fucking wonderful! I am so proud. Now, you can finally take the chance you needed and grab life by the balls. Along with mine too :)

It's difficult to concentrate on anything else other than yourself. I could be anywhere doing anything and you will always pop into my mind. I know we are meant to be. All I desire is to have you in my life. We make life enjoyable for each other and now we will have a bright future. Sometimes, we have to make sacrifices to get what we really want. Everyone reaches a point where they need some help. I know I have certainly. Now, it's my turn to pay it forward and do something that really means something to me. You mean the world to me and you are the only person I wish to make happy. To see that beautiful smile everyday would be the greatest pleasure in the universe.