I usually only write in my blog when I am sad. When I have to talk to someone else, this is the best place to go. I am losing it thinking i'm going to lose you forever. I know what we have been through. Now that I know you, there is no comparison RB. I know I can succeed. I have failed failed failed. Even the best fall sometimes too. I would rather work hard, save, get a place and really feel proud of myself for having accomplished my goal. However, it won't be complete. Not without you. I will live a life alone, devoted to a man with whom I love desperately and completely. As odd as this will be of a comparison, there is a show called Naruto and it's about this kid who's childhood was one of hardship and being shunned. As he grows up, he learns to never give up in what he believes in. He works so hard to see someone who may never even want to see him or come back again. However, it doesn't deter him. He keeps fighting along because he believes with love and strength, WE have the capability of learning from our own mistakes and becoming tangible together. I'm so sorry. Maybe it would be easier to move on but I can't. I won't. Call me a fool, loser, idiot, anything. I very well may be. But at least I am a fool for you. And for your love.