I write this to you, my first love. You changed my life. As tears stream down my face, I am accepting of the fate I have chosen. You will always be my first.. You have endowed me with many special qualities that I only achieved because of you. You have inspired me to realize that I am a good person and to not be insecure. To see that I am capable of having a relationship with someone who not only is beautiful, but beautiful on the inside too.

Life did not deal you a fair hand. If it did, maybe our fate would be woven differently. I would say I understand, but in truth..I will never truly understand your pain. I wish I could change all of it. Go back in time and meet you before all these bad things. Say to you, "I am from the future and I am here to save you." Surely, you wouldn't believe it then but I believe love will always be, whether it be 20 years ago or 2 weeks ago. I can picture in my head our first meeting and how wonderful it was. If only everyday could be as amazing as that one. It made me feel like nothing else mattered...only you..in doing so I neglected so many others that were close to me. So many angry conversations that need not be had.

Above all else, I remember the look in your eyes and I will never forget. I never meant to hurt you and I know you never meant to hurt me either.

I will miss you with all of my heart, R. I want you to remember one thing and always keep this with you as long as you live...do not let my last time seeing you be in a casket.

4♥ ImL