I am falling for someone. Yet again. I hate this feeling. I mean I love that I like someone and it's awesome but he (yes, I said he) I don't think has the same feelings for me. Actually I'm pretty sure he doesn't. But of course, I am falling for him. He is so cool. Such an awesome person. I love spending time with him. I love cuddling with him on his bed and sleeping (literally) with him. It's so comforting.

It's unbelievable. I don't think I can do this anymore though. He is in my mind constantly and I don't know how to fix it. I wish I could just go back to having a good time with him. I wish I could have a good night sleep not 5 hours. I wish I could use my cell phone, my computer, anything without thinking about him. This is the same problem I had in the beginning of journey in Florida. My heart got broken. I couldn't eat anything. I couldn't talk. I didn't want to do anything. I was and am so depressed. He has relieved my loneliness which I have been feeling for a while now.

I can't tell him. It will ruin everything. Like it did last time. Last time I obsessed about it for a month or two before I started to heal. I CANNOT do that again. I can't. FUCK!! I wish I was one of those people who could fuck someone and move on and then move on again. I wish I could that. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A GOOD PERSON!!